Monday, January 5, 2009

Dreams about Jesus II: Electric Boogaloo!

In a dream a few years ago, Jesus called me up on the phone and asked me to help him out. "The second coming isn't going so well," he told me. I met Jesus in a cave in Jerusalem, where he was talking to a mother, her baby, and a group of middle-easterners. Jesus was lecturing the group on how the best way to envision him was not as a man dying on the cross but as a baby. As the sun began to rise outside the cave, Jesus said that the essence of Christianity is in morning (or it might have been in "mourning").

It was revealed that the reason that Jesus was having so much trouble in his second coming was an evil priest that had allied himself with the devil. Jesus, Samo Hung (Jackie Chan's foster brother from the movie Meals on Wheels), and I encountered this priest and the Devil in an airport mall. After trying to hide from the devil, a fight broke out between Jesus and the priest. We entered what Jesus called "prayer time," where our fighting skills could be improved by, for example, wishing that we worked harder in elementary school gym class or that we had remembered to bring a knife.

That's right: in the second coming, Jesus uses Kung Fu to fight alongside Samo Hung against the Devil.

The meaning of Jesus' sermon at the beginning of the dream, or at least what I remember of it, has since shaped how I view Christianity in the waking world. The material world, according to his sermon, is a mother's womb, and each of us is the child. All of the disasters and torment in the world are just birthing pains in the process of humanity being born into a higher spiritual state. Jesus is the first soul to be truly born out of this world, but we will all one day grow up to be spiritual adults like him.

This model of Christianity works particularly well with the Latin American worship of the Virgin Mary. By entering into the womb of Mary (the Catholic Church or spiritual life in itself), we can eventually be born again as lesser Christs.

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